Sadistic Yearnings of Madness
by Mellina Leigh
Summary: L leaves him alone. The sadistic and lonely, his yearning starts to drive him insane. Rated M for containing BB...and blood, and things of the sexual sort. Fluffish LxBB, destroyed bedrooms, and sharp things.  Summary sucks


Disclaimer:

I hae NO...idea how this came I about...My friend and I was listening to Disney music while I wrote this...That and I had the word 'SADIST' on my brain the day I wrote this. Forgive my spelling, blah blah blah...Yaoi, blah blah blah. Don't like, don't have to read. Okay, enjoy.

-Volicea (Vol-e-sea-uh)  
>_<p>

BB held the knife up curiously in the light. How he liked the shine of the metal.  
>He glanced down at the skin on his forearm and he held his breath. He woundered what would happen if he drug it across the soft, smooth, porciline that was his skin.<p>

The blade hovered above his skin, just inches from it's destination. BB's mind wandered back through time, as a shiver twitched down his spine. His heart raced,  
>like it used to when his lover would still hold him. L.<p>

He drug the knife carefully across his wrist. He let out a breathy moan of pleasure.  
>BB noted that this was an arousing pain. Again, something he hadn't felt since he was abandoned.<p>

BB staired down at the uniform line of red on his skin. For some reason, that he couldn't quite figure out, he dipped his head back and let out a pained cry. His heart felt like it had shattered into a million peices.

BB's love. His muse. Left him alone in this empty room with no true escape.

BB looked around the average bedroom they had shared. His red eyes full of hatered as he began to move about. He punched holes in the walls, threw the nightstand into the mirror, and pushed the tv off the wall. In a fit of rage, he pushed over the dresser spilling out it's contents.

He made his way to the bed and picked up his ex-lover's pillow. BB hesitated, and with trembling hands, brought it to his nose. It still smelled like him.

BB noticed a wet spot on the pillow and curiously tilted his head, while looking at his reflection in the knife. Hot tears stung the corners of his eyes.

He went over to the corner and hugged his knees to the chest, holding the pillow close as he rocked himself gently, trying to calm down.

It was late that night. BB had placed candles around the room so he could see,  
>since he had destroied the circutry to this room, and was now dragging the knife across his wrists repeatativly. Teasing himself into a sick type of pleasure that he used to only be able to reach with L.<p>

BB knew for awhile that he was very sadistic, however, this was a new type of tourture that was very pleasing. Self touture.

His mind grew curious now. If it felt good on his wrists, so much so that he had almost climaxed, then where would his weakest point be?

BB began his twisted experiment that took days, and sickness from the loss of blood.

The second day he tried his legs, which he found had little effect, except for his inner thigh.

On the third, BB tested his shoulders, and his collar bone. The only bliss he got was the rememberance of the hickies L used to leave there. The last one BB had received,  
>was almost gone. He cut a heart into the tiny bruise and ended that day by crying his eyes out.<p>

The fourth day was the funnest in his oppinion, when he tested his stomach and chest.  
>It had brought the most bliss, to the point where he had to stop due to the amount he had bled out.<p>

BB was exhausted and weak from his trial of tourture. As he let his eyes slip close, he thought he heard a familiar noise of the floor boards moving as someone shuffled across them. He put that thought from his mind and drifted into an innocent sleep.

L opened the door to his old room carefully. The first thing he noticed was the stench of blood, and he feared the worse, then his eyes ajusted to the dim light, and he could see the outline of a body on the bed.

L swallowed hard, feeling his limbs go cold. He quietly crossed the room and streched out a hand to touch the bloody face of BB. His fingers bairly grazed the skin, but he could feel the warmth of the other, and almost lost his balance from relief.

BB had stirred slightly from the icey touch to his left cheek. He blinked up at L with his sore eyes, then practically bolted out of bed when he took a good long look at the name of the man infront of him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" BB growled with a slightly hoarse voice.

L shook his head. "I wanted to stop by and get something. It was the smell of blood that made me come to investigate. Care to explain?"

BB glarred at his superior. "I don't smell anything."

"It reaks of blood in here Beyond!" L stated, a bit of concern in his voice. "What happened?"

BB's eyes glanced to the knife he had sitting on L's pillow. "I was entertaining myself..."  
>He smiled wickedly and plucked the knife from it's spot, he gave a low giggle. "You see...This here is my new lover."<p>

"Beyond...That's illogical. A knife cannot be a lover." L stated, advanceing twards the teen.

BB tilted his head to the side, giving L his look of confusion. "A lover...By definition,  
>is someonesomething you love, and can pleasure you in sexual manners."

L felt hurt by this. "That's just a toy. It could never love you...Like I do."

"..." BB staired at L, then felt himself dig the blade deeply into his own thigh before throwing it in L's direction.

L easily avioded being hit and grabbed BB by the wrist, drawing him close, then throwing him roughly onto their bed.

BB laied there in defeat, and curled up on his side, before he let out another whail of pain, as his heart continued to crumble. L looked down at him feeling responsible for his love's current state of madness.

L reached down and gently tugged at BB's shirt. "Let me see..." He whispered.

BB removed his shirt, showing the cuts up and down his chest and stomach. L gingerly brushed his fingers across the healing cuts, and shrank back when the teen below him winced and hissed in pain. L leaned down and placed gentle kiss on the freshest red line.

The little bit of affection was enough to send BB into a fit of sobs and hiccups. He had promised himself that he'd forever loathe L, but then why was he wanting L to continue this affection?

"Why did you do this?" L asked a hint of pain in his voice.

BB shrugged. "Honestly...I just woundered how it would feel...but then...It sorta...Made me feel whole again."

L shook his head and sadly dropped his gaze back to BB's chest. "Beyond..." He was at a loss for words. So instead he took the time to kiss every line on the teen's chest,  
>as he continued, he felt like he was soaking up some of the pain into himself. He could feel everything that BB had felt. The shame, the humiliation, the frustration,<br>the utter deispare, and the yearning, L took a mental note and thought, 'Anyone who has to put up with these emotions like he is...Would be drivin to madness.'

"I'm sorry Beyond..." L whispered. "I'm sorry for this..."

BB clung tightly to L, keeping silent. He inhaled his scent, and calmed before whispering,  
>"I forgive you..."<p>

"I love you Beyond...Please don't forget that." L whispered, nuzzling BB's neck.

BB nodded, getting as close as he could to his sweet-loving, insomniac. "If you leave me again...  
>I don't know what I'll do..."<p>

"You don't have to worry. I won't abandon you." L soothed.

"No...Really...I might just loose it...And make you come looking for me." BB informed.

L smiled slightly and kissed the teen. "Make it as difficult as you can, and I will answer your call if that day comes."

BB calmed for the moment, and managed to fall into a peaceful sleep. Knowing by the yawn L tried to hide, would mean he'd wake in his love's arms. BB felt whole again as he nuzzled L's chest. The dull pain of his cuts no longer hurt, and his heart had been glued back into shape.

And there it would remain till a delicate little tap from Kira would begin to break it apart again,  
>and cause the madness and desperation to return. But until then, BB's blood lust was satisfied,<br>and the fogs of madness had faded away to a clear path to a warm summer day, where L and him could be at peice in a horrible world. 


End file.
